Living As A Profuse Sweater

Sweating.  We all do it (well, most of us).  Some lucky people don’t hardly sweat at all.  Some of us though *cough cough* sweat a little bit more.  It sucks.  A lot.

You start the day feeling clean, happy and healthy.  Life is good.  Very good.  You can take on the world, and there’s a smile on your face.

 Taylor Swift Curly Hair Flip Confident Smile

Then you step outside, and the heat hits you.  Or the humidity – it sucks too.  Or worse…both.  There’s no other feeling like it.  You can feel your skin start to pucker deep down, like a face scrunching up in displeasure.

 Jim Carrey Displeased Face

You try to tell yourself it’ll be ok.  Everything will work out, and you’ll have a great day.  Your body will stay cool, chilled, and relaxed.  I mean hey, it’s only a little heat, right?

 Jennifer Lopez I Got This Interview Red Carpet

Then your skin gets that feeling.  The one where it’s about to start sweating, but it’s still trying to cling in desperation to the coolness of the air.  All of which is gone, as far as your body is concerned – it’s hot!  You realize, it’s not happening.  You will start sweating.  Soon.

 Creepy Stare Oh No

You run through the mental check-list:

-Deodorant/antiperspirant

-Shirt that will reasonably hide the sweat

-Perfume/clone to cover up the odor

-Rag/wipe/cloth to take care of face-sweat

If anything is missing/forgotten, it’s an instant downer.

 Steve Martin Annoyed #smh

You go about your day, pretending you’re not dreading anything.  Pretending you don’t feel the first beads of sweat pushing out of your pores.  Like you don’t feel your skin starting to cry.

 Dramatic crying zooey dash.

You are sill in the denial stage, simply dabbing away a stray bead or two.  Still holding onto the “I Got This” confidence, that has yet to be washed away in rivers of sweat.

 Blue Velvet sweating dabbing

After a little while, you can tell your clothes are a little damp.  You’ve wiped sweat away, trying to keep it out of your eyes, hoping you don’t look as bad as you feel.  Your hair is a little damp at the hairline.

 Sweaty pit marks Kat Dennings

You’ve started showing signs, and feel the denial start to fade.  People are looking – they’ve noticed.  You feel the urge to be defensive, and just let it out.

 I'm Sweatin'

Once you recognize and accept your fate for the day, your body seems to say “Finally!  Gates open!”  Suddenly, all the pores open, releasing the sweat your denial seemed to be holding in.

 Hot heat overheating james macavoy

You start to worry about overheating, health problems, and if your shirt is see-through yet.  Your brain is thinking simply “Damn it’s hot” and “Ice!  I need ice!” Within minutes, you’re a wreck.

 Man pouring sweat airplane

You pray for rain, for a light breeze, or simply that you don’t reek as badly as other people you know who pour sweat.  Your friends are still fresh, looking wonderful and happy.  Clueless of the hell your body is putting you through, each looking at you like

 Sweating is gross, I don't do it

Basically making you want to smack them.  When you ask why they’re not sweating, or if they’re hot, they’re still perky with patience and joy.

 Ladies don't sweat, they glow

You give them silent annoyance, while secretly (or not-so-secretly) envying their cool, calm body in the heat that’s slowly dehydrating you.  Especially the people who crack the “don’t sweat it” jokes, while you’re clearly sweating…

 Man pouring sweat

You try to mimic the cool confidence you started the day with, grasping at the slim hope your attitude will help balance out your surely disgusting image.  Really, you just fake a smile, inwardly feeling utterly disgusting.

 I do not feel sexy sweating woman

You can’t wait to peel off your drenched clothes, and take a glorious shower, and once you’re home, that’s where you’re at.  Even with the refreshing cleanliness, you know soon, you’ll start the whole thing back over again, setting you up for round two.  It’ll start slow, concealed, and won’t get to pouring (hopefully) with the cooler later-day weather, but will still leave you feeling gross.

 Boobs sweating reese witherspoon

You keep telling yourself to love your body, taking the good with the bad, while jealously wondering what the secret is of the non-sweaters who judge and turn their noses up at you.  They must have a secret, right?  Right…

 Wide eyes shocked dr who

We’ll probably never know.  😥

Just think: cooler weather is coming soon – you can make it!

 cold fox usa

Do you have to deal with profuse sweating?  How do you cope?  Are you one of the lucky people who don’t sweat much?  Do you know how lucky you are?  Hopefully – all the sweaty people out there envy you.

Let us know what you think in the comments below!

Thanks for stopping by!  Keep sweating! 😀

 

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2 thoughts on “Living As A Profuse Sweater

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