Fake Christians ~ Take 1

Hiya, hope you’re doing well.

Today, I’m starting a series I’m calling Fake Christians.  Unfortunately, there are plenty of examples to choose from, and they all make me so upset, I know I’ll have things to say about most of them.

This particular story is (at least when I read it) presented by WorldTruth.TV.  Good site, btw, if you’re looking for stories not published in the mainstream media, or smaller stories.  Like this one.

Basically, a woman wrote into a column in the Denver Post called Ask Amy.  Here’s a cut-out of it, so you can read the woman’s side, and Amy’s advice/response:

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Just, wow.  How can people act like that??  I don’t get it.  How can you call yourself a Christian, then treat your family like crap, and blame THEM for it?  How do people get to the mental place where they stop seeing that they are causing the problems?  Even when this excluded sister is crying, trying to talk through it, coming to her unsympathetic sister for support, it’s still somehow her fault for being different.  Black sheep say what?

Obviously, she wants to connect with her sister and cousins and whomever else they deem good enough to join them on their shopping vacations.  If it’s putting her in tears, her exclusion isn’t a personal choice – it’s being made for her, and then the blame being put on her.

A saying we have around our house, is “smacking someone with a fish” when they are acting wrong.  A dead fish, if it’s particularly ugly behavior.  I really want to smack this woman with a fish…

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As Christians, we are meant to act in love.  When someone is perpetually hurting you, and they refuse to listen, and blame you for the pain they are causing, that’s abuse.  Plain and simple.  An abusive person hurts you, while sitting on their high horse, arrogantly saying “you earned it” or somehow saying their ugly behavior is your fault.  Unfortunately, this point-of-view can always be seen by either party, because typically, each person believes they are correct.  Even an abusive person will perceive themselves as the victim, because they feel justified in their behavior.

Well, that’s where being a Christian comes in – compare yourself to Christ.  Are you acting in a way He would smile at, or would you be ashamed to admit your words, thoughts and actions to Him?  Would He approve and stand behind your behavior?  Would He treat people the way you are?  Did He?

Whether you like it or not, if the answer is no, then you are the one in the wrong, and the one causing the abuse.  Most of the time though, that will never be recognized, because abusive people also tend to be manipulative and controlling, and don’t listen.   There will always be a justification for their abuse, even if they know God/Jesus would not approve.

That’s what gets me – even when they know they’re wrong, and they judge others for acting the exact same way, they are always justified.  It’s infuriating.

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Here’s the thing – ugly people never want to see their own ugliness.  Ever.  It will always be someone else’s fault.  No matter how much you say “you’re hurting me” or “I don’t understand why you’re doing this” it doesn’t matter.  They are corrupted, and will not listen until God intervenes. The only thing you can do with people like the “Sad Sister” in this situation, is walk away, and let God deal with them.

We’ve done this many times with our families and friends, because that was the only way out of the abuse.  Our pleading and requests for respect and fair treatment fell on deaf, arrogant ears, and in the end, we just got hurt.  The only thing to do with that type of abuse, is walk away.  The more you talk, the less they listen.  You simply deepen the seeds of resentment and justification with each word, and make it worse.

Stop looking for love where you’ll only find judgement and pain.  If you’ll never be good enough, then walk away.  It’s done.  That’s my advice to the sister being excluded – walk away.  Ironically, take the “sad” sister’s advice, and find better people to be around, because she has already chosen her position, and nothing and no one will change her mind, except God.  So, let her go, and let God.

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For me, that’s what I choose to do.  I do not allow people to abuse me.  I’ve had enough of it in my life, and I don’t take it any more.  If someone treats me badly and doesn’t want to work on it, I walk away.  I will own up to my mistakes, but I don’t take the blame for someone else acting ugly.  Every relationship is a two way street – I can’t do it all on my own.  If they refuse to listen, and believe themselves superior to me for any reason, I will not have them in my life.  I’m not superior, and neither are you.  We are all worthy of Hell, and (I pray…) hoping for Heaven.

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I don’t see why people feel ok acting like this horrible woman, and I feel very sad for her sister.  Being the black sheep and not fitting in is difficult enough – you’re always aware you’re different.  Being actively excluded though, that hurts.  And by blood family?  That pain never fully heals.  Judging and punishing anyone for being different isn’t ok.  Especially family.

I hope everyone who reads this story, whether it be from this post or someone else’s, learns a valuable lesson – punishing others for being different and then blaming them for making you uncomfortable, is wrong.  If you’re going to act ugly, at least have the guts to own up to it.  Otherwise, get off your high horse, and knock it off.  Your actions are your own – so own them, or change.  Be someone you’d want to be friends with – someone God will be proud of.

If you’re the black sheep, and people want to exclude you, then here’s a secret: you’re better off without them!!  They will never make you happy, and you’ll only feel like the black sheep in their company.  God has people and a place for you, and a lot of times, that is not with the family you’re born into.  Give it up to Him, and let Him lead you to where He meant for you to be.  We all have somewhere we fit in, we just have to find it.  Don’t settle for abuse – choose love, even if that means you’re alone for a while.  Own your life, own your differences, and don’t let anyone make you feel like crap for being different.  You are who God made you to be.  If they can’t see your sparkle, then get out from under their dark cloud.  Only then, will you shine.

Own it – it’s worth it 🙂

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So, are you treating anyone badly?  Are you being treated badly by someone else?  Have you had to leave people behind, because they acted like the “Sad Sister” in the column above?  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below, or just say hi! 🙂

If you enjoyed this post, please share it – I would certainly appreciate it.  Thank you!

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Why = Death of Creation

Why?  Such a simple question.  Three little words, seemingly harmless.

In reality, that little word has the potential to unravel a person completely.  Why?

A killer, masquerading as innocent curiosity.

People are naturally creative.  We are also naturally curious.  The irony is, curiosity can kill creativity.

When you ask “Why?” the search for the answer switches you into a new mindset.  Out of creativity and imagination, you switch to logic.  Even when you’re being creative, and asking “Why” with imagination, you’re automatically introducing logic into the idea/situation/area.

Answering “Why” means you need to know the path.  You’re searching for the way something happened, the way it works.  It adds in “How” almost automatically.  The two work simultaneously most of the time, overpowering anything floating in the creative realms.  They pull an idea from the clouds, anchoring it firmly to reality, caging the once free bird.

In our life, when something happens, we almost always react with “why” or “how” adding in the other easily.  We are taught to look at the “who” “what” “when” “where” and “why” in school, and most still apply it to life.

The problem with this is, logic kills.  When things make sense all the time, there is no room for spontaneity or creativity.  Life is creativity.  It is organized chaos.  When you have too much logic, life becomes simply order.  Dull.  Lifeless.  Stressful.  Dying.  Suffocating.

When you apply that to God, you see the clear reason many people fall, fail, and walk away.  They ask “why” far too often.  We search for knowledge now, no matter what.  We look for answers, for the reasons, for the logic.  We kill ourselves searching for “truth” when the only truth that means anything, is the fact the “why” rarely ever matters.  What is, is.  God.  He is, always has been, and always will be.  He knows the why, so why isn’t that good enough?

Why can’t I simply enjoy something He’s given me?  Why must I search for answers constantly?  Why must I pick it apart, suffocating it with the obsessive need for knowledge and desire for the answer to “why” in my own head.

Cuz that’s really it – my head needs to know why, even when my heart already knows it is.  It just is.  That’s it.

I appease my own head, by suffocating my heart; drowning it in logic and a growling need for knowledge and answers.

When I stop asking “why” my spirit soars.  My mind is able to be creative once again, released from the cage of logic.  I can fly.

Why has it’s place.  On the shelf, where it needs to stay.  Only used when absolutely necessary.  A dangerous tool, best left alone.  A necessary evil.

God is creative.  His logic is the only one that matters, and I don’t need to understand it, simply trust it.  I follow Him as a child follows his father.  He is my father, and I shouldn’t question Him so much, simply trust Him.

I knew this once.  I simply did what my heart told me, without constantly asking why.  If someone else asked me why, I’d simply shrug, and say “because I felt like I should” or something equally simple.  Life was simple.  Happy.  An endless expanse of creativity and joy.  I simply lived my life, grateful to have it, enjoying every second I spent marveling at God and His creation.  Because really, He is a creator.  Creative.

Seeking “knowledge” is folly, because I’ll never truly understand God.  He is unfathomable.  His knowledge is what actually matters, and my “logic” and “understanding” is as silly as holding a candle to the sun.  It may make me feel a little better in the moment, but it’s fleeting, small, and in the grand scheme of things, meaningless.  He is constant, unmovable, and magnificent.  Why bother working His creation out in my head?  He created us to enjoy life, not pick it apart and kill it with “why” and logic.

I don’t need to know the why.  Just what is.  Him.  That’s all that matters.

I’m putting a smile on my face, my questions in the trash, shelving the “why” and following my malnourished heart.  It’s time I take my life back from the greedy seed of Why.

Ready to move on, enjoy Him, and simply live.

Taking Crosses Out of Church?!

Soooo, yeah.  Browsing around Facebook today, I came across this article.

Fair warning, I am a bit pissed.  Fuming, really.  And at the same time, heartbroken.

Long story short: Eva Brunne, a Lesbian Bishop (don’t even get me started on that…) from Sweden, has announced her desire to remove crosses from the Church, in order to make refugee Muslims more comfortable.  She believes it will make it “more inviting” to them.

Yeah, cuz it won’t be a Church any more!

She reportedly wrote, “Leasing a room to people of other faiths, does not mean that we are not defenders of our own faith. Priests are called to proclaim Christ. We do that every day and in every meeting with people. But that does not mean that we are hostile toward people of other faiths.”

Soooo, now crosses are hostile?  Since when?  Are head scarfs hostile?  NO!  Is the Star of David hostile?  NO!  Since when are crosses IN THE CHURCH hostile?  Are you kidding me??

The Church is supposed to be a safe gathering place for those who follow God.  Period.  It’s not just a “religious building” in general – it is our safe place.  God’s house.  Not the world’s house.  No other religion does this sort of thing, especially not for Christians.  Since when do we hide our faith in order to make other faiths more comfortable?  Acceptance, not hiding.  We are called to love.  That means we honor and respect other religions – why do we not expect the same treatment in return?

If I go to a Buddhist temple, I’m not going to ask them to remove their statues or anything to do with their religion, just to make myself more comfortable. I may not be Buddhist, but I damn well will respect those who are, and THEIR place of worship. Christians and Catholics should expect and be given the same respect for anyone visiting OUR houses of worship. Muslims, Buddhists, Pagans, people who worship salt, I don’t care – anyone visiting a Church should have the respect to honor our faith as well.

In the military, the chapel does the sort of thing she’s suggesting – it’s simply the religious building where everyone is welcome, and there are many types of services performed. Christian, Catholic, Baptist, Muslim, Jewish, Wiccan…and Satanic. That’s where this type of thinking leads. Satan is invited and welcomed into God’s house. It’s no longer God’s house, because darkness cannot be in the same place He is. If we invite it in, we essentially remove God willingly. That’s not ok.

Holy ground needs to stay just that – holy. If we take God out of it to appease people who don’t believe or follow Him, and just make it a neutral building, then it’s no longer a Church.

Once we compromise our faith for others, and hide what makes us who we are, then others won’t hesitate to trample us.  Muslims believe the same way – ask a Muslim woman to remove her head scarf, and you’ll hear the same arguments.  Why should we be any less passionate about our religion?  Why do we not fight for our faith with that much tenacity and ferocity?  Why are we ok with casting our faith aside, in order to make others more comfortable in theirs, when they don’t give us that courtesy, and we wouldn’t ask it of them?

There does need to be segregation of religion, because they are all just too different. We all need to give and expect others to honor and respect our faith. They don’t have to agree, convert or condone it, but they should respect it, just as they would want respect for their faith and beliefs.

They are welcome to visit, but just as any visitor to someone else’s house, they are just that – visitors. Guests. They should respect that. It isn’t their house, they aren’t moving in, they aren’t taking over. They are visiting.

I don’t take down my Christian art or scriptures when someone of another faith visits my house; I don’t put my Bible away; I don’t hide my religion. If they aren’t comfortable with my God, then they are welcome to leave. I do not remove my signs of faith, my God, or my pride in Him for anyone.  He is more important, and the moment anyone else becomes more important than Him, and my relationship with Him, I am no longer a faithful woman to my God.

The Church should be no different, and if anything, even stronger in that mindset.  I belong to God, and our Church belongs to God. It shouldn’t be stripped of that to appease others, any more than His children should have to hide their pride for their faith.

We aren’t asking Jews to remove their Star of David, or Muslim women to remove their head scarfs if they come into a Church; we shouldn’t take down our crosses. It’s just that simple. Mutual respect.  Mutual love.  We welcome them in love, but they need to come in love as well.  And that means, no one needs to hide or remove their symbols of what they believe.  Ever.

It breaks my heart, that a Bishop would ask for such a thing.  Especially guilt tripping people, by citing the fact we proclaim Christ in our every day life, in every encounter.  That’s true.  Does that mean that’s enough, and we don’t need a safe place to gather with our brothers and sisters in Christ?  No.

People like her, are why the Church is failing.  God is being removed from the Church, favoring people and the world instead.  That is why the end times will come; that is why the world will end.  God is slowly being removed from His own house, in order to accommodate those who see us as infidels, and would not hesitate to see us dead for our Faith.  Ironically, proposed by a woman who would be executed for being a lesbian in some Islamic countries.

Just, wow.  I need to pray.  And cry.

Random Thoughts on Life & Growing Up

So, recently I have been talking to a few of my friends.  We’re all coming up on that age where a lot of people are having stuff start to happen in their lives.  One is getting promoted, another is graduating, another is pregnant, and another is moving to a new city.

I’m so happy for all their success, but part of me can’t help but feel…inadequate.  I kind of end up feeling like Rachel in Friends, when her old friends come to visit and they’re all like “I’m getting partner at my dad’s firm!” and “I lost a sh*t ton of weight and look fabulous!” and “I’m having another baby and my husband is loaded!”  All while Rachel is like “I serve coffee, and live in the city…whoot?”

Kind of a buzz-kill.

That’s how I felt the past few days.  Again, don’t get me wrong – I couldn’t be happier for my friends.  They’ve worked hard, and they deserve their prizes and good things, for sure.

What do I do with that feeling though?  I just feel like yay for you, and guess what!?  I…I…I’m getting a new phone.

Yay me…

Normally, this feeling would prompt me to re-evaluate my choices.  My life.  Where it’s headed.  Change some stuff up so my luck improves and I keep moving forward.

Here’s the issue with that though – I’ve given my life to God, and He’s said “stay still and wait.”

Ken and I feel like big things are coming, but we have to wait.  And wait.  And once we’re done waiting, we’ll have to wait some more.  We’re feeling like our life is passing us by, but we are trying to be positive, and not think negatively.  Sometimes though, we feel like:

We’ve both been late bloomers in life, and apparently that’s not over.  I think we’re in the “we’re waiting some more” phase, so hopefully it’ll be soon, where God lets us go to town.

See, at the moment, we are in training.  We joke that it’s God’s boot camp or Basic.  We’re honing skills, going through a ton of tests, trials, and challenges.  By waiting and trusting Him, we’re strengthening our relationship with Him.  I know in the future, we’ll be so glad we went through all this, and stuck it out.  We’re living a life that’s unconventional, and getting more odd all the time.

We have the urge to control it ourselves – to make it happen in our time, instead of waiting for God’s plan to lay itself out and happen when it’s supposed to.  That’s what a lot of people do – take the wheel from God, and control it themselves.

Well, we’ve aspired to not do that, and this is part of that difficulty.  Waiting.  Waiting while others succeed faster.  He’s building our patience, and waiting for us to build our Faith a bit more, and strengthen it as much as possible.

It totally feels like those dogs who have the treat on their nose, and have to wait.  And wait.  And drool, while waiting some more.  It’ll be worth it, and I know He’ll be proud of our Faith and commitment to honoring and obeying Him.

But it’s hard.

And I want the cookie.

I’m tired, and I want…something.

But I’ll keep waiting.  I’ll keep having Faith.  I’ll keep trusting.  And I’ll be happy that I’m following God, and He’s leading us down such a unique path.  It’ll be worth it in the end, I know.  He’s said so! 🙂

Grandmother Willow is always right.  And hey, if that damn dog can do it, then so can I! 😀